SINGAPORE - From chicken rice chain owner, to church pastor and airline CEO, some people in high positions have got into hot water recently over things they or their organisations did. They have had to apologise for their actions. But how do you say sorry in such a way that people will accept, and hopefully, forgive you, so you can repair the damage and move on?
Professor of psychology David Chan at the Singapore Management University shares the seven Rs of a Redeeming Apology. How do you say sorry like you mean it?
1. Recognise
See the damage you did with your action and recognise it. Don't minimise things by calling it an error of judgment or a blunder, or a lapse.
2. Reflect
See things from the other person's perspective. Empathise with the person or group hurt. But don't say condescending things like: "I know how you feel". Chances are, you don't. Focus instead on your own actions. It's OK to say: "I am sorry to have said hurtful things". Not so good to say: "I am sorry to have caused you hurt".
3. Regret
Reveal and express your genuine regret and remorse.
4. Responsibility
Take responsibility for what you did. It's fine to explain what happened, but admit your wrongdoing without giving excuses. "I should not have done that, but I was irritated by what was happening around me" is a classic "but" apology that makes things worse. By attributing the cause to an external factor beyond your control, you will be seen as shifting blame, not taking responsibility. Instead, just say: "I should not have done that. I hurt you by doing that and I am really sorry."
5. Request
Ask for forgiveness and express the hope that your apology will be accepted.
6. Redeem
Make amendments. Do something concrete and positive to reduce the damage caused and signal your desire to reconcile and repair the relationship.
7. Resolve
People you hurt want your assurance that it will not happen again. So it is important to resolve not to re-offend and repeat similar wrongdoings, and let the offended party know this. This "resolve not to repeat" is critical.
Now that you've said sorry, what's next? Hopefully, it's accepted and you and the offended party can move on.
"Research shows that sincere apologies can reduce stress and contribute to mental and physical health for both parties, especially when the apology is accepted. When we receive a sincere apology, we should let go and move on," advises Prof Chan.
Woman, 54, dies after fire breaks out in building opposite IMM in Jurong East
SINGAPORE - One person has died and 50 people evacuated from a building, opposite IMM in Jurong East, after a fire broke out on Thursday (May 4) morning.
A 54-year-old woman, who has been identified as Madam Neo Siew Eng, was unconscious when she was taken to Ng Teng Fong General Hospital. She was pronounced dead there. Police are investigating the unnatural death.
At 9am, the Singapore Civil Defence Force said that the fire, which affected an eight-storey building at 30 Toh Guan Road, had been mitigated with three water jets and was now under control.
Building management on Thursday afternoon told The Straits Times that the fire was mainly confined to the facade of the building and was quickly brought under control.
Mr Shane Hagan, chief operating officer and chief financial officer of Cambridge Industrial Trust (CIT) Management, said: "We understand that an employee of one of our tenants was hurt and has since died from injuries sustained in the fire. We are deeply saddened by this incident. Our thoughts and prayers are with the family of the deceased."
He added that they were working with the relevant authorities and the affected tenants to help resume operations. CIT Management is also working closely with the authorities to ascertain the cause of the fire.
Asked how long they expect the building to be closed for, CIT Management said it was working to get clearance for the building to be reopened.
Shattered windows and a burned exterior are seen on the building after the fire. ST PHOTO: NG WEI KAI
In an update on Twitter at 10.21am, SCDF said that the fire was extinguished within 40 minutes, and was confined to the facade of the building. It added that damping down was in progress.
Responding to queries from The Straits Times, SCDF said that it was alerted to the fire at around 7.38am.
Singapore Police Force staff who spoke to ST on Thursday morning said their forensics department would be entering the building. No one else has been allowed to enter the premises.
It added in its post that about 50 people were evacuated by SCDF and the police, and that a woman in her 50s had been conveyed to Ng Teng Fong General Hospital for burn injuries.
The charred exterior of the building that caught fire. ST PHOTO: ABIGAIL NG
Earlier this morning, the left and centre lanes of Toh Guan Road towards Boon Lay Way were closed, and that only the right lane was passable. The Singapore Police Force posted an update on Twitter at 11.09am to say that all lanes were now open to traffic.
[Update] Fire @ 30 Toh Guan Road: All lanes are now open to traffic.
— SingaporePoliceForce (@SingaporePolice)
[Fire @ 30 Toh Guan Road]
Fire confined to the external facade of the building. Extinguished within 40 mins. Damping down in progress.
— TheLifeSavingForce (@SCDF)
Banta Global's security guard Rosalina Aman, 49, arrived at work at around 7.10am. Minutes later, a production operator called to say that there was smoke in staircase A.
Sensing the heat and the smell of burning rubber, Ms Rosalina called the main guardhouse, then opened the gate only to see a big fire.
"When I saw the big fire I panicked and pressed the alarm," she told The Straits Times.
After she activated the alarm at 7.25am, the people who were inside evacuated to the carpark behind the building.
Another evacuee, who declined to be named, added: "Somebody was outside, they saw some smoke then came in and (alerted) everybody. So we all ran out by the back door."
Certis Cisco security guard for IMM Muhd Jalal, 58, said the fire started in the part of the building near Rozel Furniture, just above what appeared to be a sheltered walkway. After spotting the fire at 7.45am, he informed the fire control centre in his office.
He said that within five minutes, the fire had reached the roof of the building.
The overhead bridge leading to the building was cordoned off due to the blaze. ST PHOTO: ABIGAIL NG
One warehouse operator, who wanted to be known only as Azlyni, was on her way to work when she saw the fire at the building. She said that a woman, who looked Chinese, was carried out at around 8am.
Said the 29-year-old: "I heard it was an administrative auntie from my company. It looked like she had burns, mostly on her legs."
Photographer Suzi Sairi, 33, who has a studio in the building, said she took a taxi to work after seeing the video of the fire circulating online. She arrived at around 8.50am, but the management asked her to stay clear of the building.
"I hope the offices and my equipment are not affected," she said, adding that the part of the building that was burnt looked like it was near the staircase and toilets.
She said that most of the offices in the building begin operations at 8am or 9am, adding: "The cleaner auntie usually comes quite early, I hope she's okay too."
Some smoke was still coming out of the building at around 9.40am.
SCDF is investigating the cause of the fire.
Fire engine is extinguishing at opp IMM バス停の近くで火事
— まさみちsinfuka1957 (@sinfuka1957)
Smoke at the building opp IMM?
— H. Boey (@zroyboey)
Fire at the furniture building opposite IMM. Firefighters are putting it out.
PM Lee: Jobs must be a key focus for Singapore to thrive
Jobs must be a key focus for Singapore to stay relevant and thrive in a more challenging global economy, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said at the May Day Rally.
He outlined three key strategies yesterday: Creating new jobs, finding alternative jobs for displaced workers, and training workers to grow in their jobs to prepare for the future.
Leading the charge to implement plans to ensure key industries can transform and create jobs is the next generation of ministers.
Mr Lee announced that Finance Minister Heng Swee Keat will be chairman of a Future Economy Council. On it are ministers S. Iswaran, Chan Chun Sing, Ong Ye Kung and Lawrence Wong, and a number of younger ministers.
Keynote Address by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong at the Annual May Day Rally at Our Tampines Hub on May 1, 2017. ST PHOTO: LIM YAOHUI
Their task is to implement the recommendations of the Committee on the Future Economy, which in February released its report on how Singapore can prepare for the long term, including through Industry Transformation Maps.
CHANCE FOR TEAM OF THE FUTURE
I am putting them in charge of this strategic effort. It is a deep transformation. It will take time, it will extend beyond this term of government. It is an opportunity for the younger ministers to work closely together as a team, strengthen their bonds with employers and unions, and with each other, and show Singaporeans what they can do. It is their generation of leadership who will have to work with Singaporeans to take the country to new heights.
PRIME MINISTER LEE HSIEN LOONG, on fourth-generation ministers being included in the Future Economy Council.
Mr Lee said the council's work will take time, beyond the current Government's term. It is also a chance for younger ministers to work as a team, as their generation will be leading Singapore forward.
He noted that while the mood for Labour Day celebrations was better than last year's, risks remained, like that of a global trade war.
Singapore's unemployment rate may rise further as the country faces pressures similar to those in other developed countries - industries restructuring, the workforce ageing, and older workers who lose jobs taking longer to find new ones.
"We have got to understand this trend but, at the same time, we have to work hard to resist it, to keep our workers in jobs," he said.
The first strategy of creating new jobs entails bringing in new businesses and investments and upgrading existing companies. This has been Singapore's winning formula for 50 years, for without a business-friendly climate, there will be no new jobs, Mr Lee noted.
He cited recent projects like Google's new campus and its work to help train small and medium- sized enterprises to go digital.
Second, workers who lose their jobs, especially professionals, managers, executives and technicians, must be helped to find alternative ones. Various schemes have been expanded to match workers to jobs and help them switch, but workers should be open-minded and flexible, he said. Employers have to be open to hiring mature workers too.
Third, workers must get support to upgrade their skills and knowledge, as fellow workers elsewhere are catching up fast.
Mr Lee cited how union leaders on a visit to Chengdu, China, were struck by how driven workers there were. He said: "Unless we are as hungry as them and as determined as them to upgrade ourselves, and willing to put in as great an effort, our cheese will be stolen."
"We have to make that effort, we have to strive and we have to keep our position," he added.
Mr Chan, the labour chief, said the labour movement was reaching out to help a wider pool of workers beyond union members.
Ms Priyalata Pillay, a Singtel Call Centre team leader, and members of the Union of Telecoms Employees taking a wefie with labour chief Chan Chun Sing before the start of the May Day Rally at Our Tampines Hub. ST PHOTO: LIM YAOHUI
The strong three-way partnership between unions, employers and the Government is a key strength for Singapore, said Mr Lee, enabling it to transform its economy time and again to stay relevant.
"If we strengthen the tripartite system and remain united," he said, "we can overcome the challenges and emerge stronger."
Bigger changes to Cabinet ahead in 2018, says PM Lee Hsien Loong
MANILA - Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said on Saturday (April 29) that he plans to make bigger changes to his team next year, and put new ministers in charge of some ministries.
His comments follow the latest round of Cabinet changes, which saw Mrs Josephine Teo and Mr Desmond Lee promoted to full ministers in the Prime Minister's Office (PMO).
Speaking to Singapore reporters at the Asean Summit in Manila, PM Lee said: "This one is not a full set of changes, I expect to do a much bigger change next year... there will be more changes by that time and more new ministers will be helming their own ministries."
Asked to comment on the Cabinet changes announced on Thursday, Mr Lee said he had promoted the ministers because they deserved it.
"They've shown that they are capable of more responsibilities. They have done good work and I expect them to do even more," he added.
Besides Mrs Teo and Mr Desmond Lee, four ministers of state will also be promoted to senior ministers of state: Dr Lam Pin Min, Dr Janil Puthucheary, Dr Koh Poh Koon and Mr Chee Hong Tat. They will continue in their current ministries.
Dr Lam will also be appointed Senior Minister of State for Transport.
The PMO had said that the changes, which take effect on Monday (May 1), are part of leadership renewal.
Besides their portfolios in the PMO, Mrs Teo will also be Second Minister for Manpower and Foreign Affairs, while Mr Lee will be Second Minister in his present ministries of Home Affairs and National Development.
PM Lee said he had assigned Mrs Teo to the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) to shadow Manpower Minister Lim Swee Say.
"They've worked together for a long time so I think that should work well," he said.
Observers saw Mrs Teo's move as a sign that she may be groomed to be the next manpower minister, especially given her past experience working in the labour movement.
As for Mr Desmond Lee, who at 40 will be one of the youngest full ministers in recent years, PM Lee quipped: "I've left him at (MHA and MND) and I'm sure his ministers, knowing that he is a minister, will give him more work to do."
In other changes announced on Thursday, parliamentary secretaries Low Yen Ling and Faishal Ibrahim will be promoted to senior parliamentary secretaries in their current ministries: Trade and Industry, and Education for Ms Low, and Education and Social and Family Development for Dr Faishal.
Minister of State Sam Tan will take on the foreign affairs portfolio, in addition to his current ones in MOM and the PMO, while Parliamentary Secretary for Home Affairs Amrin Amin will take on an additional post in the Health Ministry.
Minister of State for Manpower Teo Ser Luck asked to step down from office on June 30 and return to the private sector. His term as mayor of North East District ends on May 26, but he will still be an MP for Pasir Ris-Punggol GRC. Tampines GRC MP Desmond Choo will replace him as mayor.
The four other mayors - Dr Mohamad Maliki Osman, Dr Teo Ho Pin, Ms Denise Phua and Ms Low - will be reappointed on May 27.
I thought being president would be easier, says Donald Trump
WASHINGTON (REUTERS) - He misses driving, feels as if he is in a cocoon, and is surprised how hard his new job is.
President Donald Trump on Thursday (April 27) reflected on his first 100 days in office with a wistful look at his life before the White House.
"I loved my previous life. I had so many things going," he told Reuters in an interview. "This is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier."
A wealthy businessman from New York, he assumed public office for the first time when he entered the White House on Jan 20 after he defeated former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in an upset.
More than five months after his victory and two days shy of the 100-day mark of his presidency, the election is still on Mr Trump's mind. Midway through a discussion about Chinese President Xi Jinping, the president paused to hand out copies of what he said were the latest figures from the 2016 electoral map.
"Here, you can take that, that's the final map of the numbers," the Republican president said from his desk in the Oval Office, handing out maps of the United States with areas he won marked in red.
"It's pretty good, right? The red is obviously us." He had copies for each of the three Reuters reporters in the room.
Mr Trump, who said he was accustomed to not having privacy in his "old life", expressed surprise at how little he had now. And he made clear he was still getting used to having 24-hour Secret Service protection and its accompanying constraints.
"You're really into your own little cocoon, because you have such massive protection that you really can't go anywhere," he said.
When the president leaves the White House, it is usually in a limousine or an SUV.
He said he missed being behind the wheel himself. "I like to drive," he said. "I can't drive any more."
Many things about Mr Trump have not changed from the wheeler-dealer executive and former celebrity reality show host who ran his empire from the 26th floor of Trump Tower in New York and worked the phones incessantly.
He frequently turns to outside friends and former business colleagues for advice and positive reinforcement. Senior aides say they are resigned to it.
The president has been at loggerheads with many news organisations since his election campaign and decided not to attend the White House Correspondents' Dinner in Washington on Saturday because he felt he had been treated unfairly by the media.
"I would come next year, absolutely," he said when asked whether he would attend in the future.
The dinner is organised by the White House Correspondents' Association. Reuters correspondent Jeff Mason is its president.
It Changed My Life: Migrant worker goes from painting condos to boss of own company
Mani Malaichamy proudly surveys his Kaki Bukit office, filled with barrels of paint in different colours, before opening the door to show me his new 2.4 litre, white Toyota Harrier.
"I really believe God gave me everything," he says, eyes darting to a poster of Ganesha, the Hindu elephant god, pinned to a wall.
The 47-year-old, who shelled out $420,000 to buy the office two years ago, is referring to the glorious way his life has panned out: An Indian migrant worker who arrived penniless in Singapore 20 years ago but defied great odds to found a painting company which pulled in $2.6 million in revenue last year.
"But I have a second 'god', Mr Ang Ah Teng," says the managing director of MMM Contract Services.
Mr Ang is his former employer, a man who, he says, taught him everything he knows and encouraged him to spread his wings.
The youthful looking Mr Mani speaks fractured English in an almost Singaporean accent.
Mr Mani in a photo taken in 1997 when he was working for property development company Fook Tong Nam. PHOTOS: MANI MALAICHAMY
The youngest of seven children, he is originally from a small village near the town of Tirrupatur in Tamil Nadu.
His parents were poor rice farmers who often had to borrow money when droughts destroyed their crop. To supplement their income, the family also reared goats.
Growing up, he remembers going to the fields with his school books to be a human scarecrow to frighten birds. "I finished school at 17. After that, no more studies. One thing, no money. Another thing, have to help the family," says Mr Mani who completed his secondary education at a village schol.
Jobs were not easy to come by.
For some time, he worked as an assistant in a provision shop in Chennai. He also had a stint teaching illiterate seniors to read and write under a programme by India's Ministry of Education.
When there was no work, he helped out on the farm.
"In a kampung, no need much money because no need to spend. We planted our own rice and vegetables; we didn't need to buy a lot of things," he says.
But he dreamt of getting a job which would pay well enough for him to build a house and help his parents pay off their loans.
"My two elder brothers did not help the family after they got married. I wanted to make money to help my parents and so that my sister could get married," says Mr Mani, who has four sisters.
He wanted badly to come to Singapore.
"There were many agents in my village recruiting workers to work here," he says.
The only snag was the hefty commissions they charged.
When he was 28, his brother-in-law - then a migrant worker in Singapore - cobbled together $4,000 and arranged for an agent to find Mr Mani a job here.
The gregarious man remembers the day he landed in Changi Airport. "I saw everything very nice and very beautiful. The Chinese people at the airport said my name very different. The smell here also very different," he recalls with a laugh.
His employer was a property development company in Marine Parade. Instead of a construction site, he was dispatched to the office of one of the company's new condominium developments in Bukit Timah.
"That's because I could speak a little bit English. The other workers could not," he explains.
His job included painting and fixing minor defects in the condo units. The company allowed him to sleep at the site office.
"I was very happy because I was alone. No one to disturb me. At night, I could read," says Mr Mani who devoured Rapidex, a popular series of English coursebooks for Tamil speakers.
He was paid $18 a day, and could earn a few more doing overtime.
Mr Mani (in blue) borrowed $4,000 to come to Singapore 20 years ago to work as a labourer, earning $18 a day. With help from his former employer, he now owns his own painting business, which pulled in more than $2.5 million last year. ST PHOTO: ARIFFIN JAMAR
"I worked every day, from Monday to Sunday, from 8am to 7pm, and until 10pm if there was overtime. My pay was about $600 a month, I don't go out except on Sunday evenings when I finished work. I went to Serangoon to talk to friends and relatives from my village," says Mr Mani, who saved money by cooking his own meals on an electric cooker in the carpark outside his site office.
Because he was so prudent with his spending, he paid back the $4,000 to his brother-in-law in a little over a year. He also set aside some to take English classes at a school for foreign students in Orchard Road.
Occasionally, he also handed money to an agent to take home to his parents in India.
On the advice of his boss, he got himself certified by the Construction Industry Development Board not long after.
After four years here, he returned home to India to get married. By then, his daily pay had gone up to nearly $30.
"I was already 32, so must get married mah," he says, using the Singlish word often used to express something which is obvious.
The marriage was arranged by his parents. His wife, Madam Mamathy, 40, has a Master's in Commerce from Alagappa University.
"But she never worked. Many women are very educated but never work, very common in India. I only saw her once before we got married, when she was 12 years old," he says.
That he was not as highly educated was not an issue.
"It's nothing. She and her parents know I have talent, and that I would make money and take care of her. They know what I can do, they know I can learn things very fast," he says proudly, without a hint of conceit.
It took him eight months and another agent to find a higher paying job in Singapore. By then, his wife was pregnant with their first son.
"I had to come back. I had only enough money to get married but not to buy a house. I also had to pay for my sister's marriage," he says.
His new employer was ATC Painting Specialist, owned by Mr Ang.
Mr Mani's resourcefulness and eagerness to learn earned him many opportunities.
"I did many things. I was driving a lorry, fetching workers, collecting cheques, making payments, supervising, taking care of projects," he says animatedly, adding that he also took a three-month course to get certified as a safety officer.
"My boss made me a supervisor. Every year, increase in pay, and bonus," adds Mr Mani, who sent the bulk of his pay to his wife in Chennai.
Unlike his colleagues who lived in hostels, he preferred to sleep in his company's paint shop.
"I liked (being) alone. I don't like to join them... quarrel, quarrel. Anyway I parked my company lorry there, so it's easy for me," he says.
Mr Ang, 53, says that his employee fell sick often when he first joined the company.
"I think he was not used to the weather. But he's hardworking. If he wasn't, I wouldn't have hired him. I taught him a lot, and he was not a bad learner," he says.
By 2005, Mr Mani was earning nearly $3,000, enough for him to get an S Pass, granted to middle-level foreign workers. Mr Ang also advised him to apply for dependent's passes for his family.
"Actually, I wanted to start a business in Chennai. I already bought a small piece of land. I wanted to build a two-storey house, use the bottom for a shop and live upstairs. But my boss encouraged me to try and apply for my family to come to Singapore."
He did, successfully. In 2006, they became permanent residents.
His journey, he says, did not happen without sacrifices.
"I worked so hard. I didn't see my elder son till eight months after he was born. I could only afford to go back once every five years.
"When my father died in 2004, I did not even go back. I just went to a corner and cried. I was doing an urgent project. And I was scared that if I went back, I would lose my job. That was what happened to my father, who worked in Sri Lanka. When my grandfather died, he went back to India but after that, he lost his job in Sri Lanka."
When his wife and elder son Arul Prakash, now 15, arrived in 2005, they lived in a one-room rental flat in Bukit Merah.
(Above) Mr Ang Ah Teng with Mr Mani Malaichamy's younger son Areesh in the Pasir Ris condo. PHOTOS: MANI MALAICHAMY
A few years later, he bought a three-room HDB flat in Bedok on the resale market. His younger son Areesh Prasanth was born in Singapore in 2010.
Getting his PR gave him the confidence to act on his entrepreneurial dreams. "I know I could come out and do business. I know my customers, I know how to apply for workers. But I thought of my boss, he taught me everything. Without him, my family would not be here with me."
Mr Ang, however, encouraged him to strike out on his own.
Mr Mani says: "He said, 'You go out and fight. If you are not successful, you can come back.' Where to find boss like that? Even I cannot be like that. I was so happy I cried," he says.
With his boss' blessings, he started MMM (his initials as well as those of his father and wife) in 2007 while still working at ATC. He accepted small jobs painting houses and bungalows at night and on weekends.
Three years later, he quit ATC, put $10,000 of his savings and plunged into his business full-time. He hired two workers, and got himself a second-hand motorcyle to run around on.
An interior designer got him his first major contract, worth $150,000, to paint a factory in Woodlands.
"I'm very lucky. All my Singaporean customers have been very good to me. They like me and give me a lot of jobs," says Mr Mani who now has 26 staff, including a couple of Singaporeans. He has another electrical services company.
Even Mr Ang passed him contracts, including one to paint Greendale Secondary School in Punggol. Since then, Mr Mani has landed contracts to paint several other schools including Marymount Convent and CHIJ Katong Convent.
Asked why he went out of his way to help his former employee, Mr Ang says: "It's very simple. I'm growing old. There's also a lot of work to go around. If he can chiong, let him do it," he says, using the Hokkien word which means to take risks. "You cannot keep everything for yourself. Anyway, if he's successful, I'm happy for him."
Mr Mani has taken a leaf from his boss' books on how to treat staff. He organises company trips to Malaysia and invites them over to his home for meals often.
"When you treat them well and become their friend, they will be so happy to work for you," he says.
He and his family have adapted happily to life in Singapore.
"When I first came to Singapore, the smell of durian made me want to vomit. But now I love it so much. I also love eating mee goreng for breakfast every day," says Mr Mani, who worships at Senpaga Vinayagar Temple in Ceylon Road and is active in the Parents' Support Group at Temasek Secondary School where Arul is a student.
He has, he says, worked extremely hard for what he has but sometimes finds it hard to believe he has come so far. Last April, he and his family moved into a $1.2 million condo in Pasir Ris.
He says: "I used to paint condos but I never dreamt I would one day live in one."
WATCH VIDEO
From penniless migrant worker to painting company founder http://str.sg/42Tg
バス停
の近くで火事
